There is in every child at every stage a new miracle of vigorous unfolding, which constitutes a new hope and a new responsibility for all.
Having a transgender or gender nonbinary child is a wonderful gift, but it comes with a unique journey for both child and parent. Support is not only essential, but a gem of the journey! I offer both therapy and support for TGNB kids, as well as consultation and support for parents of TGNB kids.
Gender is a deep feeling. It is something we know, but it is invisible. Part of becoming a whole person is not just knowing one’s gender but making it visible. This stems from a desire to both experience and be seen as one’s true self. For many, the gender they were designated at birth is not the gender they feel inside. Recognition of one’s true gender can emerge at distinct points in development for each (truly there is not one typical trajectory!). Sometimes gender identity emerges and stabilizes clearly in early childhood. Other times this knowing arises as puberty approaches, or during puberty. Yet for others, their true gender makes itself known later in life.
For some kids the emergence of a gender can be (or include a part of them that is) non-binary. Being non-binary can mean something unique for each. For some, their gender may come with ongoing movement and/or fluctuation in their internal experience. They may feel they are more “girl” one day and more “boy” another. For others they may experience themselves as both “boy” and “girl” simultaneously but in proportions unique to them. Yet others may feel most at home in an identity completely outside the binary options our dominant culture provides (i.e. neither “girl” or “boy”). Some kids who are nonbinary (and even some kids who hold other gender identities) prefer being identified with the gender pronouns: they/them.
In doing this work for years now, I know that the path of each child is beautifully unique. I have learned to honor this. I am truly interested in meeting your child exactly where they are in their gender journey.
Therapy and Support for TGNB Kids
Working with TGNB youth is the highlight of my practice. Wherever your child is on their gender journey, the support and partnership therapy will offer can both ease the process and strengthen resilience and esteem. My work with TGNB youth includes individual therapy, family therapy, as well as therapy with siblings.
Areas where I can offer support and guidance:
- Your child is expressing feelings that they are another gender or showing cross-gender expression
- Your child is ready to socially transition at their school
- Your child is living as their authentic gender, but they are showing signs of insecurity or distress around their body
- Your child is approaching puberty and/or puberty suppression
- Your child will soon start cross-sex hormones
- Your child is preparing for a gender-confirming procedure or surgery
- Your child is in need of tools for navigating their gender in social relationships
- Your child’s school is in need of guidance or educational training around gender diversity
Consultation and Support for Parents of TGNB Youth
I welcome the opportunity to provide support to parents of TGNB youth, whether you’re desiring ongoing support, or one or two sessions to address a specific question or concern.
For even the most accepting of parents, a child’s disclosure that they are another gender can bring numerous feelings. The most common of these are doubt, confusion, fear, and loss. For some families a child’s earlier development may have carried signs of cross-gender expression or identification. For others it may feel as though your child’s new awareness around their gender has come out of nowhere. In each situation it can feel as though a core narrative of your child’s life has been shaken in a way that was never imagined. The path forward seems to bring many uncertainties and concerns about your child’s future. Though you may desire support for your child during this time, I have found that support for parents is just as crucial. The first step may simply be to have a safe space to process your own experience.
Areas where I can offer support and guidance:
- Your child has just come out to you and you are unsure of what to do next
- You are in need of a space to process your own thoughts and feelings
- Your young child is showing early signs of a gender diversity and you are wanting tools to support them
- You would like support and tools for sharing about your child’s gender with friends and family
- Your child is having difficulties at their school around their gender
- Your child is beginning puberty and you would like information and supportive tools for this new developmental period
If you are early in your journey with your child or just now reaching out for additional support, a wonderful organization to check out is Transforming Family.